As some of you know, I’m pushing 50 years of age. Most people have one ‘mid-life’ crisis in a lifetime. Strangely, I seem to have them every few years. Maybe it’s due to my curious nature in that I LOVE to learn about new things and new people. As far as jobs go, I often go into a job, take it till I ‘finally’ figure out that it’s not going to take me any further and then move on.
Well, it seems that the time has come to maybe look into moving on to my next life step.
Granted, I love teaching but with most things in my life (other than my loving and VERY tolerant wife), I want to do it on my terms and mine alone. It’s been that way my entire life. One reason might be due my parents early deaths but it could be other things, my age (my mid-life crisis possibly), situational, etc. I’m not sure. However, since last years accident, I’ve grown ever more restless in wanting to set my own course. Not only that, but we Clevelands (especially the males) aren’t known for our bullshit tolerance and that trait kicks in on nearly a daily basis.
Honestly, I’m not sure what that means for me. Does it mean attempting to start SpōK as a business or to get mountain guide training and then hope that I can get a license? Possibly, it could also mean that I go back to freelancing and try to cobble together a living from doing two or three things? These are the questions I’ve spent hundreds of hours contemplating during bike rides and while lying awake nights and have yet to achieve any ‘real’ answers.
I know that I’m a good, if not really good teacher. It shows in my students scores and their feedbacks. Also, in the number of them that renew or ask me to teach them privately (which I can’t/won’t do for ethical and lack of time reasons). My guess is that freelancing might be a good start along with SpōK and maybe, just maybe I might check into SPIN training as well. Kera always tells me that I’m a shitty relaxer, maybe I should take that as a sign and do something active.
Hindsight is 20/20 as they say. If only I had known this 30 years ago I could and would have had my outdoor career and could now pass that accumulated knowledge on to others.
Alas, I’m left wondering the age old question of “what am I here to achieve?”
A FEW DAYS AFTER STARTING THIS ENTRY…..
After speaking with Kera about it, I’ve come to the conclusion that I should kick up the pace on trying to get SpōK off the ground as a legit business. I’ve never tried to run a business of my own but I think that it’s time that I try it. As some of you know, I’m not good with failure so the jump forward is not only scary, the future is more so. However, Kera and I are pretty good at putting our heads, hearts and skills together to come up with some pretty cool ideas. Combined with that, as I get to thinking about potential things to produce, my creative nature goes into overdrive. Seems that I need to start carrying around a sketchbook for all my ideas otherwise they may pop into being and vanish like a soap bubble.
Last thing… Saturday is 8 months + 1 day from my accident. On that day, I’m having surgery to remove the plates that were installed in July of 2010. The doctor says that there shouldn’t be any complications but please cross your fingers for me if you would.